these are getting older and older

These are all old pictures

first day of the end of my life

There's been so many times I thought my life was over. That I should just kill myself now and not live thru these unbearable feelings. Soo many times.
I just went thru this month. Yay me.
I forget the point of this little thought... I had a point when i first thought about it but now i totally forget.... huummm
OH!
I realize that killing myself means i would miss many good times but sometimes i think i wouldnt mind it. Maybe i'm just depressed.
I'm not sure if i want to be here or not.

Thats not said as well as how i originally thought it. FUCK!

kay now im tipsy
lolzzzzz
haha
i have a love hate relationship with alcohol.
i did coke today. all it did was make my mouth go dumb (we rubbed it on our gums)

typing out blogs is like hardcore talking to yourself or thats how it feels to me.
i talk to myself alot
;]
hahahah
i just chucked a smirnoff out into the forest type thing. i drank that shit really fast. ew dont wanna think about it.
My cat is retaded, its so cute. =]

okay what a pointless blog haaaaaaa. im a happy drunk, yeee know?

i'm afraid to post this shit on myspace because everyone thinks its for like.. attention or something probably... i dont fuckin know.
but yeah
or they think im a lil emo bitch which i guess i am but fuck it.
i dont care.
if you dont want to hear me whine, dont read this shit then. kay? kay!


everything is very bothersome to me right now. everyone.
fashion, photography (a lil), people, drugs, feelings, etc.
......
maybe i should drink... hmmmm
idk

i havent liked anyone in forever and i started to like someone.. and that got me nowhere. i feel like shit now. i can think rationally tho and know its not my fault or anything... ha.. im retarded.